Fifty Reasons why I shouldn't own the Hakuouki license

While I have joked many times over taking ownership of Hakuouki, it is a real aspiration of mine to perhaps, someday, get some kind of legal grounds to write for Hakuouki. It is an impossible dream, but hey, whoever said dreams need to be realistic?

In the spirit of poking fun at myself, here is my top 50 reasons why I should never be given power of Hakuouki.

1. I will completely focus on Kazama and Chizuru as a romantic couple and leave everyone to be forever alone.
2. I will totally insert ten million original characters to create a much larger world.
3. I will make Saito and Sen canon. And Hijikata and Sen canon. And Chizuru and Souji canon. And Chizuru and Sano canon.
4. I will make Sannan drunk on more than one occasion.
5. I will make Kazama drunk on more than all the other characters.
6. I will shamelessly insert friends' OCs and give them one of their boyfriendos.
7. I will make ten million alternate universes.
8. I will totally lose track of what I'm doing halfway.
9. I will insert too many memes in Hakuouki.
10. I will use April Fool's as some kind of divine punishment on subgroups.
11. I will also abuse April Fool's maliciously and tease fake games, crushing the hopes and dreams of all.
12. I will totally diagnose the characters with mental illnesses.
13. I will maliciously break all these characters.
14. After breaking them, I will then burn them ruthlessly in an open bonfire.
15. I love multi universe theory.
16. I will abuse it viciously.
17. Crossovers everywhere.
18. I already sold my soul to Pokemon. What do you think I would do?
19. CG movie, anyone?
20. Have official art of the characters twerking.
21. I am rehiring Yone Kazuki.
22. I would ask her to draw all the characters nudes.
23. Then I would ask her to draw them all pretending to be raptors while Chizuru does the "Owen" pose.
24. Did I mention crossovers?
25. I love memes.
26. All games will be in English.
27. Derpy comics of the characters doing stupid shit.
28. I shall make them into memes.
29. Kazama will be a birb.
30. Hijikata's salt will be harvested for future profit.
31. I might make a few of them insane.
32. Maybe even remove a few limbs.
33. Good Lord, I can't even talk about this one!
34. Horror.
35. Unspeakable torture for shippers everywhere.
36. Cockblocking.
37. Ship teasing.
38. Only to break the fans' precious hearts.
39. I am Satan.
40. I would hire my friends to work on the projects.
41. Cake for my friends.
42. Moar oni shit.
43. Somehow Star Wars will be involved.
44. Did I mention memes?
45. Co-op with Type Moon.
46. Film myself dancing like a moron.
47. I would totally insert my kiddies as official characters.
48. Plushies of Chizuru.
49. More merch.
50. DID I MENTION MEMES?!

Rewriting my thoughts on the Hakuouki community, hopefully with a little less bias and frustration.